In earlier articles I discussed the potential dangers in
1. Focus on the Things you Really Want in a Woman
Here’s some interesting stuff gleaned from a Peoples Magazine poll (admittedly a few years back).
What men saw as the most important single criteria in the woman they are seeking:
1. Sincerity (14%)
2. Sense of humor (11%)
3. A good body (9%)
4. Intelligence (8%)
5. Nice eyes (8%)
6. Ambition (6%)
7. A nice butt (5%)
8. A nice smile (4%)
9. Over 100 other features each of which ranked lower than 1%.
Women were slightly less shallow, but not much. Here is their list:
1. Sense of humor (25%)
2. Sincerity (13%)
3. Nice eyes (9%)
4. Nice smile (8%)
5. Good body (7%)
6. Intelligence (5%)
7. Height (4%)
8. Ambition (4%)
9. A nice butt (1%).
What does this tell you? Mostly it tells you that you aren’t the only shallow guy out there who thinks that a woman’s body is more important than her brains and her butt is more important than her smile. So relax, stop feeling guilty about what you really want in a woman, and just keep telling everyone it is the twinkle in her eye that you adore when it’s really the size (or shape) of her breasts.
The point of web
The point is you don’t have to feel guilty or bad about your inner thoughts. Don’t hurt people in the process, don’t cause pain, but feel free to pursue what you really want, not what is deemed politically or socially correct.
2. Play the Field
You aren’t cheating on her by also chatting with other Chinese Women on the same website, at least not until you’ve come to believe she is the one for you and you’ve made a serious commitment to her. Meanwhile, you’re internet
3. Dress Yourself Up a Bit
This is your chance to put your best foot forward. Have some great (natural looking) photos taken of yourself. Put on your best clothes. Just like in real life, first impressions are lasting impressions. If she knows you can dress up and look good when the need arises, she’s far less likely to hold it against you that sometimes (maybe most of the time) you look like the cat just dragged you in.
Here are a few “photo” tips:
(a) Your Primary Photo (the one that shows on the search pages and is first on your profile) is the first thing she will see of you – that is the one to really impress her with. So, that one should clearly show your face, smiling or cheerful, neat and trim, wearing a decent shirt. If you really wish to impress her, on the primary photo forget the following:
* the photo of you naked showing your magnificent torso (Chinese women don’t care if you have a great body, they care about you being a good man).
* the one with you on your Harley is okay as a third or fourth photo, but fist show her you can dress in a manner that she’ll not be ashamed to be seen with you, or take you home to meet the family.
* neat, clean, tidy but casual is a winner every time.
4. Be Careful About Misunderstandings
You are going to have misunderstandings sometimes, especially if she is from a different culture than you, a Chinese Woman for example. You need to be patient and thoughtful about things she writes. So often something in the written word has a totally different meaning than if it is spoken face to face. “You are fat” in writing means you are fat, and it is kind of insulting, right? But if a woman says “you are fat” to your face with a great big adoring smile, then it may mean “you are fantastic” (one of the slang meanings of “fat”), or it at least means you are a tiny bit overweight but she absolutely adores you and finds it hugely attractive. But add in that she is Chinese, and it can also mean you are overweight and that means you are healthy and happy and you will enjoy her cooking, because traditionally the Chinese feel that if their husband is fat they are taking good care of him. So look for the best meaning in everything, and if you can’t find one, then say flat out “you just insulted me, did you mean to do that?” and give her a chance to explain and straighten it out. Don’t sit there with hurt feelings.
5. Take a Deep Breath
The point is that you will have occasions when things go wrong on your computer or hers, and it takes time to get it corrected, often a day or two for your computer geek friend, or hers, to come and figure it out. In addition, sometimes the website you are members on has a glitch, or is under construction for a few hours, or their server is down, or your provider is down, etc. When this stuff happens, take a deep breath and be patient. If she is right for you and is truly interested in you, then she is sitting on the other side of the problem also anxiously waiting to chat with you again. Relax and go have a beer or coffee with the boys, who have been wondering where you disappeared to for the last 8 days.
6. Don’t Be Afraid To Show Your Humor, But Have a Thick Skin
The point of a relationship is to enjoy it, so if you are the kind of guy who loves to joke around, then joke around. But remember that a joke spoken is often hilarious but a joke written is often flat as the proverbial pancake. And also remember that what is funny to a Western man may not be funny to an Asian girl. She may not get the subtext. So don’t be offended if she “just doesn’t get it”.
Chinese and Asian women generally love to joke and laugh and have fun, but it may take a while before either of you “get” the other one’s joke. Never be insulted if she fails to laugh.
7. Do Unto Others
8. Be Open and Honest
In spite of what was said in #1 above, and further to what was said in #2 above, always be open and honest about the really important things. You are looking for your lifemate. How will you know if you have found her if you aren’t honest with her.